I cleaned up my email today. Yes, the jeje email Dennis made for me before. Deleted around 5000+ emails from 2008 to present. Well mostly, they were subscriptions and newsletters from different sites, social media notification emails, a bit of org-related emails, and some academic-related emails too. As I was nearing the oldest emails, it suddenly hit me. I changed. A LOT. The way I dress, how I talk, how I randomly babble away on my SNS, how I act when I’m with different kinds of people, how I express myself, how I take thing seriously (or not that seriously in most cases), how I prioritize things. Well basically, how I live my life. With this, the realization of how I haven’t changed in many aspects also hit me. I’m 23 this year and I’m still the gullible girl who easily believes (with question or doubt) those people that make her comfortable. Which ends up mostly in disappointment (and a bit of heartbreak, I guess). The girl who can’t sleep without the lights. The girl who always says, “Hinding-hindi na ako iinom kahit kailan” following a massive hangover, but ends up drunk a few days later. The girl who always had a hard time deciding on what she wants to eat. The girl who doesn’t throw away a centrifuge tube, or a pen, or a petal from __ years ago just because “it brings back memories”. And yes, I’m still the girl who, even at 23, still doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life.